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Life is partly what we make it, and partly what is made by the friends whom we choose. - Tehyi Hsieh

I wanted to say thanks to the many wonderful people I had a chance to meet at UXWEEK2006 (in no particular order): Steven Berlin Johnson, author of Everything Bad is Good For You and Emergence (which I’ve added to my “must read” list); Ray Daly of the NEA; Chiara Fox, Dan Saffer, Brandon Schauer and Ryan Freitas, all of Adaptive Path (who organized the whole shebang); Jace Cole of Allstate Insurance; Bradley Horowitz of Yahoo; Betsy Pitlick of Washington Mutual; Luc-Rock Paquin of Canada Business Industry; Bryan Busch, Geniant; Jeff Veen, Google; Craig Duncan of the UN OCHA in Geneva, Switzerland; Alice Yeo, Autotrader.com; Jane Louise Webster, Council on Foundations; John Vincent, LL Bean; Kevin Lingerfelt, Americans United for Separation of Church and State; Dan Brown, author of Communicating Design; and Bryan Chamberlain, Nationwide.

To anyone I’ve left out, my apologies. To all, I look forward to the next time our paths cross. For photos, check out the UXWEEK2006 tag on Flickr.

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Mike Shepherd thinks he knows the answer (yes). Without fussing over details (like whether girls really are attracted to so-called bad boys) Shepherd jumps right to his theory of why they’re attracted.

He writes:

I have my own “Darwinian” theory regarding this mystery for which one has to look at the animal kingdom. Typically, amongst animals, the female of the species will look to mate with the “Strongest” most “Vibrant” male she can find. This increases the chance that their offspring will be robust and hearty, a simple matter of genetics. You will find that among certain species, the males will develop bright colors, adapt unique mating calls and perform complex dances in an attempt to attract a partner. Generally, they are not very picky who they pair up with.

One could easily compare the above directly to us humans. Girls seem to fall for the “bad boys” because they perceive them to be the “strongest” and most “Vibrant” of their selection. Furthermore, one can not deny that all the guys are running around trying to buff up their physique, wear the kewlest of fashion & be a slick dancer in hopes of landing that “hottie” they’ve been pursuing.

I don’t think it’s necessarily true that girls are attracted to bad boys. I think that people (men and women) are simply attracted by anything that looks exciting, dynamic or lively. In simple terms, we get bored. Boredom leads our imaginations down a path… sometimes to the proverbial bad boy, but just as easily to a risky situation, or (on a more pedestrian level) to a new experience.

Put another way, nobody craves the mundane.

People often describe love as an emotion — a euphoric feeling that washes over you when you are “in love” with someone. Love itself is not a feeling or an emotion. Love transcends emotions and encompasses them all. Love is a verb.

We can express our love with our words, but that verbal expression is not love. Love is not defined by what we say, but what we do. The actions we take — the way we treat another, the consideration we give that special person, what we do to enrich the life of another — this is how love is expressed.

Our active expressions of love are sometimes accompanied by romantic feelings, but many times they are just consistent acts of faithful, patient persistence. The simple act of putting someone else above yourself. Simple, but not always easy. Love is sometimes gritty and difficult. But always worthwhile. Go ahead — love someone today.

This BigBlueBall we live on is made smaller every day by technology. With the Internet, we can chat, talk and even see each other from thousands of miles apart, all with ease. But all the technology in the world cannot still take the place of a live, face-to-face interaction.

At BigBlueBall.com we have moderators from all over the world, most of whom I’ve never met in person. When the opportunity arises to meet in person, I grab it.

Last Sunday was such an occasion. Shifter (aka Marcus) and his family are visiting Southern California on vacation. Dr. Kimble (aka Emily)lives down here, but we had never actually met. I couldn’t let the opportunity slip away. We met at the House of Blues in Anaheim for their Gospel Brunch. Sharing food is a wonderful, relaxed way to get to know one another, and it was capped off with a soulfully rockin’ gospel concert. I can’t tell you the names of the musicians, but I can tell you that they were good. Listening to them you got a real sense of the roots of rock.

It was great to meet Marcus, his family, Emily and her mom. I hope to get a chance to meet more of the BigBlueBall regulars in the future.

While some may dispute the history of Saint Valentine, and many will complain that the modern Valentine’s Day is a concoction brewed by collaboration of the greeting card, jewelry, chocolate and florist industries, few will question the true purpose of the day; a celebration of love.
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